Let’s go back to November/December. A lady in my bible study discussion gave each of us in our discussion group a book called Reclaiming YourHeart: A Journey Back to Laughing, Loving, and Living. She volunteered/worked with a ministry that used this book. Fast forward to the first week of January. I decided to read the book finally. And looking back, it was God’s perfect timing! First of all, READ THIS BOOK! It will change your life! Second, while so much of this book impacted my life, I’m only going to share one very small part that played a very large role in changing the kind of friend that I am (at least that’s what I’m striving for).
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| Screen shots take from the sample on google books. |
My name is Angey, and I have a people pleasing, rescuing heart! I want to fix
all that’s wrong, I want to make everyone happy and healthy and successful, I
don’t want people to feel pain or suffering, I want to save them. Here’s the
thing, *I wasn’t created to save people*… I had to say that to myself many
times over. I was created to point people to the One True and ONLY Savior –
Jesus Christ.
As I said before, God’s perfect timing. At the end of
January and into February, our lives were rocked - I’ll go into more detail
about that on a later blog post. I needed to lean into Christ more than I ever
have before and I needed to lean into friends and family! I am so blessed in
that I have a wonderful extended family that prayed for us, sent notes of
encouragement and offered assistance in ways that they could from long
distance. I have friends that are local that stepped up to make sure I was
taking care of myself and that I was doing ok physically, emotionally and
spiritually. I have friends that are long distance that were always just a
phone call or text away if I needed encouragement or prayers. I am so thankful
for my tribe of people! Basically, in this season (we are still walking through
some rough stuff), I’m on what I would call the receiving end of the
relationship – with any given friend/family member. I’m the one that needs the
rescuing – the fixing – according to my old self’s heart. During this hard
season, God really opened my heart to seeing the kind of friend I wanted to
have and therefore that I wanted to be.
So many friends and family members offered counsel and
encouragement and I appreciate every single piece of advice, offer of support,
words of encouragement and knowledge from experience. At the end of the day
though, I needed God. I needed to hear His voice and know that I was doing what
He wanted and following the path that He had laid before us. And quite often,
what I felt God saying and what others were sharing with me collided, and I
chose God. People were hurt and relationships damaged. And I got it. You see, I
have always been that ‘friend’ that gave advice – probably unsolicited – and would
get very upset when my friend wouldn’t listen and would choose a different
direction. I would be hurt and frustrated and damage the relationship because
basically I felt unneeded, unwanted and ignored. And now, I was on the opposite
side of the relationship and I understood. What I want people to know and understand
is that I absolutely listened to every single person’s advice and help and I
took it to heart. I prayed for hours over it because I was treading new waters
and had no idea what to do, so I took it all to God, and I trusted Him. He gave
me a peace that I cannot describe and pointed me to scripture to back up what I
felt He was leading me towards. I will never resent or frown upon advice or encouragement
because I know it is out of love.
Here is where I’m changing: I will offer encouragement when
I can, I will be available for help and support when I’m asked. And I know,
that there are circumstances where stepping up and 'just doing' to help are
needed and I will seek God in those moments and pray that He will direct me
whether I need to just do, or I should ask first. I won’t get angry, or
frustrated, or hurt if my advice isn’t taken or if my help is rejected – I won’t
take it personally. I will pray.
I don’t want to be the friend that seems to be in it to rescue and is selfish.
I want to be the friend that is available, listens, encourages
and LOVES.
If you have been hurt, frustrated, irritated, etc. because of me, I am sorry. Will you please forgive me. And if you notice rescuing tendencies popping up from me in our relationship, will you please politely bring it to my attention? Let me know that *whatever rescue attempt I'm making* isn't what you want or need. Thank you! Love you all!
